[{"@context":"http:\/\/schema.org\/","@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/sevgilibebek.com\/cocuklarda-anne-babaya-bagimlilik-ve-baglilik-farki-ne-yapilmali\/#Article","mainEntityOfPage":"https:\/\/sevgilibebek.com\/cocuklarda-anne-babaya-bagimlilik-ve-baglilik-farki-ne-yapilmali\/","headline":"\u00c7ocuklarda Anne-Baba’ya Ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131l\u0131k ve Ba\u011fl\u0131l\u0131k Fark\u0131, Ne Yap\u0131lmal\u0131?","name":"\u00c7ocuklarda Anne-Baba’ya Ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131l\u0131k ve Ba\u011fl\u0131l\u0131k Fark\u0131, Ne Yap\u0131lmal\u0131?","description":"\u00c7ocuklarda Anne Babaya D\u00fc\u015fk\u00fcnl\u00fck \u201cBana \u00e7ok ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131, benden ayr\u0131lm\u0131yor\u201d Sorun mu? Annelik Gururu mu? \u00c7ocu\u011funun kendine ba\u011fl\u0131 m\u0131 yoksa ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131 m\u0131 olarak yeti\u015fmesini istedi\u011fini soraca\u011f\u0131m\u0131z her anne ve anne aday\u0131, y\u00fcksek olas\u0131l\u0131kla, ba\u011fl\u0131 olmas\u0131n\u0131 istedi\u011fini, Devam\u0131n\u0131 oku…<\/a>","datePublished":"2022-05-30","dateModified":"2022-05-30","author":{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/sevgilibebek.com\/author\/ozgun-kizildag\/#Person","name":"Uzman Psikolog \u00d6zg\u00fcn K\u0131z\u0131lda\u011f","url":"https:\/\/sevgilibebek.com\/author\/ozgun-kizildag\/","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/0fc505eb822b0a377057f3eebef83197?s=96&d=mm&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/0fc505eb822b0a377057f3eebef83197?s=96&d=mm&r=g","height":96,"width":96}},"publisher":{"@type":"Organization","name":"Sevgili Bebek","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","@id":"https:\/\/sevgilibebek.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/cropped-sbikon.jpg","url":"https:\/\/sevgilibebek.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/cropped-sbikon.jpg","width":600,"height":60}},"image":{"@type":"ImageObject","@id":"https:\/\/sevgilibebek.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/02\/anne-baba-cocuk.jpg","url":"https:\/\/sevgilibebek.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/02\/anne-baba-cocuk.jpg","height":490,"width":736},"url":"https:\/\/sevgilibebek.com\/cocuklarda-anne-babaya-bagimlilik-ve-baglilik-farki-ne-yapilmali\/","about":["Ebeveyn & Aile"],"wordCount":878,"keywords":["anne babaya d\u00fc\u015fk\u00fcnl\u00fck","ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131l\u0131k","ba\u011fl\u0131l\u0131k","sorumluluk duygusu"],"articleBody":"\u00c7ocuklarda Anne Babaya D\u00fc\u015fk\u00fcnl\u00fck\u201cBana \u00e7ok ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131, benden ayr\u0131lm\u0131yor\u201d Sorun mu? Annelik Gururu mu?\u00c7ocu\u011funun kendine ba\u011fl\u0131 m\u0131 yoksa ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131 m\u0131 olarak yeti\u015fmesini istedi\u011fini soraca\u011f\u0131m\u0131z her anne ve anne aday\u0131, y\u00fcksek olas\u0131l\u0131kla, ba\u011fl\u0131 olmas\u0131n\u0131 istedi\u011fini, ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131 bir \u00e7ocuk istemedi\u011fini; \u00e7ocu\u011funun kendi ayaklar\u0131 \u00fczerinde durmas\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7ok istedi\u011fini s\u00f6yler. Ancak i\u015f uygulamaya geldi\u011finde s\u0131kl\u0131kla b\u00f6yle olmaz. Yani niyet ba\u015fkayken sonu\u00e7 ba\u015fka olur. Bu durumda niyetimiz sa\u011fl\u0131kl\u0131 bir ba\u011fl\u0131l\u0131k ili\u015fkisi kurmakken, bizi sa\u011fl\u0131ks\u0131z bir ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131l\u0131k ili\u015fkisine g\u00f6t\u00fcren ve fark\u0131nda olamad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z noktalar\u0131n \u00fczerinden ge\u00e7elim.\u201c\u00c7ocu\u011fu kendine d\u00fc\u015fk\u00fcn anne iyi bir annedir. \u00c7ocu\u011fu kendisine d\u00fc\u015fk\u00fcn olmayan anne yetersizdir\u201d yanl\u0131\u015f inanc\u0131 \u00fczerine:Bir kre\u015fin kap\u0131s\u0131n\u0131n \u00f6n\u00fc. Seda han\u0131m\u0131n k\u0131z\u0131 onu \u00f6p\u00fcp, el sallayarak ve\u00a0g\u00fclerek i\u00e7eri giriyor. O s\u0131rada a\u011flayan k\u0131z\u0131n\u0131 teselli etmeye ve ikna etmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015fan Deniz han\u0131m, baca\u011f\u0131na sar\u0131lm\u0131\u015f ve kendisini b\u0131rakmayan \u00e7ocu\u011funu \u00e7akt\u0131rmadan i\u015faret ederek \u201cbiz her sabah b\u00f6yleyiz, bir saatten \u00f6nce benden ayr\u0131lam\u0131yor\u201d diyor. Kafas\u0131 kar\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015f bir halde oradan \u00e7\u0131kan Seda han\u0131m, benim k\u0131z\u0131m niye benden b\u00f6yle kolayca ayr\u0131l\u0131yor, sevmiyor mu? \u0130yi bir anne olamad\u0131m m\u0131 diye d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyor?San\u0131lan\u0131n aksine, annesinden rahat\u00e7a ayr\u0131labilen bir \u00e7ocuk, annenin varl\u0131\u011f\u0131na g\u00fcvenen, onun s\u00f6zlerine inanan, g\u00fcvenli bir ba\u011fl\u0131l\u0131k ili\u015fkisi kurabilmi\u015f bir \u00e7ocuk demektir. Yani asl\u0131nda \u201ciyi annelik\u201d, annesine g\u00fcvenen, annesinden uzakla\u015fabilen, d\u0131\u015f d\u00fcnyayla ba\u015f edebilmek konusunda kendisini iyi ve rahat hissedebilen bir \u00e7ocuk yeti\u015ftirmektir.Bunu bilmek ve i\u00e7selle\u015ftirmek, davran\u0131\u015flar\u0131m\u0131za \u015fekil verecek bir i\u00e7sel motivasyondur ve son derece \u00f6nemlidir.…Sayfa 2\u00c7ocuklarda Sorumluluk Duygusu, Nas\u0131l Kazand\u0131r\u0131l\u0131r? Nas\u0131l Geli\u015ftirilir?Beceri geli\u015fimi: \u00c7ocu\u011fun yerine yap\u0131lan her eylem, onun o eylemin alt\u0131ndaki beceriyi kazanmas\u0131na engel olaca\u011f\u0131ndan, \u00e7ocu\u011fun kendisine g\u00fcvenememesine, ebeveyni olmadan yar\u0131m\/beceriksiz hissetmesine neden olaca\u011f\u0131ndan \u00e7ocuk ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131 hisseder. \u00c7ocuklar\u0131n ya\u015flar\u0131na uygun sorumluluklar\u0131 ba\u015flang\u0131\u00e7ta zorlansalar da almalar\u0131na izin vermek, y\u00fcreklendirmek ve desteklemek bu y\u00fczden \u00e7ok \u00f6nemlidir.Anne-baban\u0131n gizli mesajlar\u0131: Anne-baban\u0131n \u00e7ocuklar\u0131ndan bahsederken kulland\u0131klar\u0131 \u201cbiz\u201d dili ( Biz ac\u0131kt\u0131k, d\u00fcn okula ba\u015flad\u0131k vb.) \u00e7ocuklara “benden ayr\u0131lma-uzakla\u015fma-biz bir b\u00fct\u00fcn\u00fcz, bu b\u00fct\u00fcn\u00fc bozma” mesaj\u0131n\u0131 verir. Ayr\u0131ca \u00e7ocu\u011fa y\u00f6nelik, yapabilirsin, ba\u015farabilirsin t\u00fcr\u00fc s\u00f6ylemler, \u00e7ocuklara ba\u015farmak-yapmak zorunda olduklar\u0131 mesaj\u0131n\u0131 verdi\u011finden denemeye cesaretlendirici mesajlar de\u011fil, aksine deneyip ba\u015far\u0131s\u0131z olma korkusunu artt\u0131r\u0131c\u0131 mesajlard\u0131r.Anne-baba\u2019n\u0131n ruhsal durumu: Anne-baba kendi ya\u015famlar\u0131nda mutsuzlarsa, kendileri i\u00e7in bir ya\u015fam mutlulu\u011fu alan\u0131na sahip de\u011fillerse, \u00e7ocuk bilin\u00e7alt\u0131 bir anlamda bir yeti\u015fkin reaksiyonu g\u00f6stererek, onlar\u0131n iyi olacaklar\u0131na g\u00fcvenmedi\u011fi i\u00e7in de onlardan ayr\u0131lmay\u0131 istemez. Neredeyse bu ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131l\u0131k tepkisi, anne-baba i\u00e7in verilen bir tepkidir.B\u00fct\u00fcn bunlardan hareket ederek belki de s\u00fcreci \u015fu \u00f6rnekle \u00f6zetleyebiliriz. Bebekler y\u00fcr\u00fcmeye ilk ba\u015flad\u0131klar\u0131 d\u00f6nemde d\u00fc\u015ferler ve a\u011flay\u0131p a\u011flamamak konusunda saniyelik bir refleksle anne-babalar\u0131na bakarlar. Anne-baba so\u011fukkanl\u0131 bir tepkiyle devam etmesini s\u00f6ylerse devam eder; anne-baba endi\u015felenir ve bunu belli ederse \u00e7ocuk da a\u011flamaya ba\u015flarlar. D\u0131\u015f d\u00fcnya ve aile ile denge unsuru i\u00e7eren bir ba\u011fl\u0131l\u0131k ili\u015fkisi kurman\u0131n, g\u00fcvenle d\u0131\u015f d\u00fcnyaya a\u00e7\u0131labilmenin yolu da, t\u0131pk\u0131 o d\u00fc\u015fme an\u0131ndaki gibi uzun vadeli annelik-babal\u0131k davran\u0131\u015f\u0131n\u0131n g\u00fcvenli, sakin ve so\u011fukkanl\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131nda sakl\u0131d\u0131r.\u0130lk Yay\u0131n Tarihi: 20 \u015eubat 2016 @ 21:14"},{"@context":"http:\/\/schema.org\/","@type":"BreadcrumbList","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"item":{"@id":"https:\/\/sevgilibebek.com\/#breadcrumbitem","name":"Sevgili Bebek"}},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"item":{"@id":"https:\/\/sevgilibebek.com\/cocuklarda-anne-babaya-bagimlilik-ve-baglilik-farki-ne-yapilmali\/#breadcrumbitem","name":"\u00c7ocuklarda Anne-Baba’ya Ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131l\u0131k ve Ba\u011fl\u0131l\u0131k Fark\u0131, Ne Yap\u0131lmal\u0131?"}}]}]